From Excuse to Superpower — What Being a Single Mother Really Means for Me

For most of my life, being a single mother felt like something to apologise for.

Not out loud. Not in words. But in the way people looked at me — that quiet sympathy in their eyes, the slight tilt of the head, the unspoken "oh, you poor thing."

I grew up without money. The single mothers around me were struggling, exhausted, barely keeping their heads above water. That was the template I inherited. That was what I believed my life would look like.

And so without even realising it — I started using it as an excuse.

I can't work more hours. I'm a single mother.
I don't have enough money. I'm a single mother.
I can't build a business. I'm a single mother.

Every limitation, every fear, every moment I pulled back from something I wanted — single motherhood was waiting there as the reason. The justification. The story I told myself so I didn't have to risk trying and failing.

It felt true. It felt logical. It felt safe.

But it was keeping me small.

Then I read something that stopped me completely.

Jen Sincero wrote about the moment she decided — clearly, consciously, without negotiation — that she would no longer use being broke as her excuse. That she was going to change her story. That she was going to be rich.

Not because the circumstances changed. Because she decided they would.

And something in me recognised that immediately.

Because I had been doing the same thing. Not with money exactly — but with identity. With the story of who single mothers are and what they're capable of.

I had inherited a belief that wasn't mine. I had been living inside someone else's limitations.

And in that moment I decided — I'm done.

I am a single mother.

I raised my son alone in a country that wasn't mine. I built a cleaning business from nothing. I spent years developing a skill I love. I left a job that was breaking me down. And I am building a photography business — on my own, with no safety net, no partner income, no one to share the weight with.

That is not a weakness.

That is extraordinary.

The resilience it takes to do all of that — the sheer determination, the refusal to give up, the showing up every single day for a child who is watching everything you do — that isn't a limitation.

That is my superpower.

And if you're a single mother reading this —

Still seeing yourself through other people's sorry eyes. Still using it as the reason you can't, the reason you haven't, the reason you're waiting.

I want you to hear this clearly:

We are powerful. We are capable. And we are absolutely able to build a better future — for ourselves and for our children.

Not despite being single mothers.

Because of everything being a single mother has made us.

If this resonates — I'd love to hear from you.
I write these blogs because I want you to know the real me — not just the photographer, but the woman behind the camera. I hope somewhere in my story you find something that resonates with yours.

As a Women's Confidence Creator and photographer based in Wapping, London, I work with women who are ready to be seen — in front of the camera and in their own lives. If that's you, I'd love to connect.